the o.c
ternyata gw sakit jiwa!
gw br bljr ilmu jiwa di smstr ini. stlh ngikutin kulny kynya ada kelainan jiwa yang mirip sama kebiasaan gw. namanya obsessive compulsive.
gangguan obsessive compulsive merupakan salah satu jenis gangguan anxietas. gangguan anxietas adalah gangguan jiwa yang ditandai dengan adanya kecemasan yang berlebihan dan muncul dalam berbagai gejala. pada gangguan obsessive compulsive, gejala dapat berupa pikiran yang terus berulang tanpa bisa dikendalikan (obsesif), tindakan berulang yang tidak bisa dikendalikan untuk menjalankan pikiran obsesif (kompulsif) yang mengganggu produktifitas sehari-hari.
contoh tindakan obsesif dan kompulsif adalah mencuci tangan terus menerus, membuka dan mengunci pintu berulang kali sebelum tidur, mengulangi kata-kata dalam hitungan tertentu, membersihkan sesuatu berulang-ulang, adalah beberapa contoh tindakan yang mungkin dilakukan.
setiap kali mo pergi gw selalu ngecek pintu udh dikunci ato blm smp 5 kli. hbs gw kunci, biasanya gagangny gw naik turunin dulu smp 5 kli smbl ngitung dlm hati 1.. 2.. 3.. 4.. 5… spy gw yakin bgt klo dah dikunci. klo g ky gt gw bisa kepikiran sepanjang jln soal kmr gw dan akhirnya balik lg utk ngecek pintu, walo sebnrny gw tau udh terkunci, tp ya tetep aj harus balik lg. klo lg makan sm tmn2, pasti gw yg ninggalin meja paling trakhir. soalny gw harus liatin meja dengan bnr2 teliti smp yakin klo g ada hp yg ketinggalan di atas meja. trs klo lg tempat rame, gw pasti ngecek tas gw stiap 10 menit skali, takut hp dan dompet gw raib. kadang malah sambil jalan tangan gw di dalam tas trs megangin dompet. emg sakit jiwa! hehehe…
anak kosan gw lain lg. dia seneng bgt bersih2. saking senangny bersih2 smp kamar orang jg dibersihin. kyny seneng bgt liat ada kamar yg berantakan. lgsg deh tanganny mungutin sampah2. sebenarny sih ini g termasuk oc tp aneh aj liat orang yg suka bgt bersih2 ky dia. kaya pas bulan puasa kmrn. tengah mlm gw lg maen di kamar si badung (demi kenyamanan nama disamarkan ^^). tiba2 dia nongol. awalnya cm duduk smbl crita2. lama2 tanganny mulai mungutin sampah yg ada di atas karpet, trs rapihin buku2, nyapu, sampe ngepel! gw dan badung sm skali g blh bantuin. ktny malah ribet klo ada yg bantu. akhirnya kamar badung bersih bgt. bener2 bersih. sehelai rambut pun g ada. si badung seneng. cita2 pny kamar bersih terkabul.
minggu siang kmrn gw kena jg. pulang dr pim, perasaan matahari lg terik2nya, tp jemuran gw udh ada yg angkatin. sorenya temen gw itu balikin baju2 dalam keadaan rapih udh disetrika.
gw : “ ya ampun kak, ngapain disetrika segala?”
kk : ” hbs td g ada kerjaan..”
gw : hah??? “oh… g ada kerjaan y… y udh klo gt… makasih y kak…”
lain kali gw bakal nyuci baju lebih bnyk lg. hehehe…
song of the day :
td dengerin hard rock fm. jd inget lagu ini. lagu lama, but still, soooo me…
been running from these feelings for so long
telling my heart I didn’t need it
pretending I was better off alone
but I know that is just a lie
so afraid to take a chance again;
so afraid of what I feel inside.
(chorus)
but I need to be next to you
oh, I oh, I
I need to share every breath with you
oh, I oh, I
I need to know I can see you smile each morning
look into your eyes each night
for the rest of my life
here with you; here with you
oh I
I need to be next to you
right here with you is right where I belong
I lose my mind if I can’t see you
without you there’s nothing in this life
that would make life worth living for
I can’t bare the thought of you not there
I can’t fight what I feel anymore
balada putus cinta
sebenarnya cerita ini udh lama
tp tetep aja klo diinget bikin ketawa
waktu itu gw sm 2 temen gw, galon n betet pgn karaokean
jln deh ke nav fatmawati
keluarin smua skill menyanyi yg ada
kita2 sendiri ini yg dengerin
biar fals jg sapa yg ngurus hehehe…
lagu berikutnya lagu rindu-ny krispatih
si betet udh stand by megang mic, berdiri di depan tv
dan mulai bernyanyi…
Bintang malam katakan padanya
Aku ingin melukis sinarmu di hatinya
Embun pagi sampaikan padanya
Biar ku dekap erat waktu dingin mem.. belenggu.. nya… hiks…
Tahukah engkau wahai la.. hiks.. ngit.. hhuuaaaaa…
“suara apaan tuh?!’”
si betet nyanyi sambil nangis
galon diam
gw bingung
“napa lo bet?”
dia balik ke sofa n duduk di sebelah gw
“gw dari dulu g suka lagu ini… hiks… gw benci lagu ini! hhuuuaaaa…”
gw bengong…
si galon bisikin gw
“dia baru putus sm cowony”
“oooo…”
si betet masih nangis
gw meluk dia
“yah gw kan g tau… lo g crita sm gw… jgn nangis trs dong… kan kita mau seneng2… udhan dulu y nangisnya… kita nyanyi lg ya… cup… cup… cup… tar dibliin es krim deh… ”
“apaan sih lo… gw udh g nangis… nyanyi lg gih…”
“lagu rindu lg yuuk?”
“gaakkk!!!”
pas gw tny2 ternyata putusnya udh sebulan
udh sebulan…
but it still feels hurt
and it would still take another months
and longer pain
i know it
i’ve been there…
Uncategorized | Comment (0)Aku ingin bertemu membelai wajahnya
Kan ku pasang hiasan angkasa yang terindah
Hanya untuk dirinya…
heart talks
a heart’s short midnite conversation…
“why am i attracted to a person i know isn’t good?”
“because you’re hoping you’re wrong and every time they do something that tells you they’re not good you ignore it and every time they come through and surprise you the win you over and you lose that argument with yourself that they’re not for you. they say love is blind. no. love makes you blind to all that is wrong with the relationship. it’s not your fault and in a way it’s not their fault either, it just is”
“then why we all hang onto something we know we’re better off letting go?”
“that’s the battle of head versus heart, and it’s excruciating. which is the right one to follow? the head which is trying to protect your heart? or your heart, your heart that is falling hopelessly, leading you into a dead end, walking you head first into a brick wall? it’s just like we’re scared to lose what we don’t really have. some of us say we’d rather have thet something than nothing but the truth is to have it halfway is harder than not having it at all. it all depends on you. but you’ll never find the right one, if you’re still holding onto the wrong one”
“i think i had to learn the hard way that some people walk into our lives and physically walk out… but they never really leave. well, the tears stopped. the pain, however, remains constant”
“in life or love pain must be felt. there’s no alternative. but that pain is accompainied by something else… hope. take chances, take a lot of them. because no matter when you end up and with whom, it always ends up just the way it should be. your mistakes make you who you are. you learn and grow with each choice you make. everything is worth it. be you and be okay with it…”
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so much to tell
at the end of the day
there are some things you just can’t help but talk about
somethings we just don’t want to hear
and somethings we say because we can’t be silent any longer
somethings are more than what you say
they’re what you do
somethings you say because you have no other choice
somethings you keep to yourself
and not too often,
but every now and then,
somethings simply speak for themselves
telling the truth about something sometimes can be hard
i know that feeling
i’ve been there
the difficult time that could make you feel buried as in hell and shivered as in north pole at the same time
all seems complicated
but just say it outloud
or you will keep wondering for the rest of your life
coz hearts are often broken by words left unspoken
for someone who had told me everything :
its a part of life that people come and go out of our lives to teach us
lessons
not everyone we meet are meant to be in our lives forever
some people are like leaves
the wind blows this way and they are over here,
the wind blow that way and they are over there
some people are like branches
they look like might be good to hold on
but as soon as you step out of their comfort zone,
they got a problem with you and they leave
very few people are like the roots of a tree;
you only need 2 or 3 roots to keep the tree alive, even if it has a 1000 branches
when you find someone who is a root, hold them close and tight
because those are the people who are going to stick with you through thick and thin,
forever…
hopefully i will always be the root
and i know you will too
that’s why i am so thankfull that i know you…
Uncategorized | Comments (6)simple love
kmrn mlm gw diajakin the-one-who-think-he-is-not-an-emo muter2
niat cm mo nyari makan
saking niatnya smp nyari makan aja jauh bgt
tp gw jd tau rasanya nasi kucing (norak! hehehe…)
trs diajakin ke wapres
udh jlnnya malam
gw pake celana pendek pula
pdhl kan angin malam g baik buat kesehatan gw ;p
but i enjoy the time
apalagi di wapres pas lg malam sastra
ada yg bacain puisi ini
puisi favorit gw wkt SMA
jd keinget lg…
AKU INGIN
Oleh: Sapardi Djoko Darmono
Aku ingin mencintaimu dengan sederhana
dengan kata yang tak sempat diucapkan
kayu kepada api yang menjadikannya abuAku ingin mencintaimu dengan sederhana
dengan isyarat yang tak sempat disampaikan
awan kepada hujan yang menjadikannya tiada
i want a simple love like that
always giving never asking back
the simple love
that holds us together
it’s a simple truth
that sets us free
there’s a place we are bound
and they call it forever
it’s a simple love
between you and me
who the hell is "you"?
Uncategorized | Comments (3)sometimes love doesn’t feel like it
Why (sometimes) when you love someone, you have to let them go?
Why is it that the desire to be desired takes you so badly that you feel you could die of it?
Is it love when another person’s needs become more important than your own?
And if love grows by giving… is the love that we give away the only
love we keep?
Is the only way to retain love to give it away?
Do you give the kind of love you dream of receiving?
Now why is it that it only takes a minute to get a crush on someone, an
hour to like someone, and a day to love someone, but it takes a
lifetime to forget someone?
(I really hate myself for this one.. Yeah,
hate is a strong word, I know.. I really try not to abuse it..)
Is it possible to lay aside a confirmed passion?
Is there a spirit wounded so deeply that love cannot heal it?
Are you responsible only for those you love?
How about those who love you?
If you have love, do you need anything else?
And if you don’t have love, does it matter what else you have?
Can gravity be held responsible for people falling in love?
Whenever I try to reason about love, I lose my reason…
This love saturday, I wish you enough faith to get through the love that doesn’t feel like it…
Uncategorized | Comments (6)secret admirer 2
cerita secret admirer gw ada sekuelnya nihh!
hehehe…
kmrn bangun jam 9.. (buset dah kebo bgt!)
trs langsung mandi
pas mo lanjutin kerjain DF iseng aja ngecek pintu kamar dulu
kli2 ada tempelan lg
eh beneran ada! (asikkk! ;p)
ada 2 lembar kertas poem lg sm CD
langsung aja CDnya gw putar
dengerin lagu2ny…
bagus!
gw suka sm pilihan lagunya
he must have a very good sense of music
he or she ya?
mgkn gak sih secret admirer gw cewek?
mungkinlah ya…
gw kan digemari pria disukai wanita…
hahaha…
ada 1 lagu yang gw kurang setuju
dia masukin stolennya dashboard confessional
We watch the season Pull up it’s own stakes
And catch the last weekend Of the last week
Before the gold and the glimmer have been replaced
Another sun soaked season fades awayYou have stolen my heart
You have stolen my heartInvitation only Grand Farewells
Crush the best one Of the best ones
Clear liquor and cloudy eyed
Too early to say goodnightYou have stolen my heart
You have stolen my heartAnd from the ball room floor We are in celebration
One good stretch before our hibernation
Our dreams assured and we all Will sleep well
Sleep Well, Sleep Well, Sleep Well, Sleep Wellyou have stolen
you have stolen
you have stolen my heartI Watch you spin around In your highest heels
You are the best one Of the best ones
And We All Look Like We Feelyou have stolen my
you have stolen my
you have stolen my heart
gw dituduh nyuri !!!
parahhhh!
emg gw pny tampang pencuri ya?
maniss gini jg…
so sorry if you think i have stolen your heart
i don’t mean it
really!
i just try to be nice to everyone…
*muka innocent mode on*
sebenarnya gw makin curiga sm groupies gw
soalnya cm mereka yg tau klo my body is a wonderland
tp gw g punya bukti
ngapain nuduh mereka
g bakal ngaku jg
yang ada jg mereka cm ngakak2 g jelas
pokonya awas aja klo beneran mereka…
skrg anak2 kosan jd sering senyum2 g jelas ke gw
“nadya sering bgt sih dpt kiriman”
pdhl baru jg 2 kali…
bahkan mas2 warung yg di depan aja tau
“mbak nadya kmrn dapat kembang ya… dari sapa tuh? ”
waduuhhh…
good thing for today :
- tugas DF gw akhirnya diterima.. senang skali!
bad things for today :
- gw kena flu!!! gara2 begadang seminggu kerjain DF.. hidung gw meler.. capekkk…
- td sempat nimbang berat badan di ruang dosen.. gw naik sekilo!!! hiks..hiks.. harus ngurangin makan nih.. program diet hrs kembali dijalankan! smangattt!!!
secret admirer
when i was in highschool i used to think about how if i have a secret admirer
how would it feel?
someone who watch you
in silent and secretly
is it fun?
or scared?
but i never truly feel it
until yesterday…
bangun jam 8 pagi
mulet kanan kiri
berusaha mengembalikan kesadaran gw yg udh g tau kmn
duduk di depan laptop
lanjut kerjain tugas DF yg g beres2 dr kmrn
yg udh bikin gw begadang 3 hr
yg bikin liburan ini g tenang
masiihhh aja buka buku
karna laper akhirnya gw mandi
niat mo nyari makan, jam 11 gw kluar dr kamar
buka pintu
krriieettt… (maksa bgt bunyinya)
“busettt! sapa nih yg nempel selebaran di depan pin..tu… gu..e…???”
“…”
“…”
“… ???”
tangan gw gemetaran
mulut nganga
mata melotot
syukur msh ingat napas
WHAT IS THIS ???”
gila!
GAK MUNGKIN!!!
OMG!!!
gw berdiri diam mlongo
trs jongkok n mlongo lg
trs berdiri lg msh smbl mlongo
gw tiba2 jd idiot
bloon
g bs mikir
kaget
panik
senang
speechless
…
kertas itu ada tulisannya
semacam poem gt
g ada namanya
cm ditepi2nya ada tulisan secret message secret admirer
omigodd…
mawar!!!
mawar merah!!!
mawar merah benerannn!!!
bilang gw norak!
tp sapa yg g jd norak klo ada 2 mawar merah hidup, kertas yg isinya poem, ditempel di depan pintu, n g tau sapa yg ngirim!!!
lama bgt gw liatin kertas2 itu…
lamaaa bgt…
smbl mikir sapa yg nempelin itu di depan pintu
but i have no idea!
now i live in curiousity…
who is this man?
what would i feel when i know him?
what will happend?
will it be better?
or it better if just like now?
stay silent…
live secretly…
Oh, secret admirer
When you’re around the autumn feels like summer
How come you’re always messing up the weather?
Just like you do to me…
buat groupies gw :
awas klo ketauan trnyata klian yg isengin gw !!!
the prince and me
semalaman begadang ngerjain tugas DF
baru tidur jam stengah 4 pagi
kerjain tugas sambil nonton tv
ada film the prince & me
jdnya keterusan nonton…
film lama tp tetep enak buat ditonton
another fairytale with happy ending
The title says it all. This is a classic Cinderella story about a hardworking girl from the Wisconsin dairy farm who wants to go to medical school but falls for a handsome and charming foreign exchange student who happens to be a prince in disguise. Does the course of true love run smooth? Not at first. Do they live happily ever after? What do you think?
I’m a sucker for a good romantic comedy, and this one did it for me.
The Prince & Me is a light-hearted romp through every young girl’s fantasy, but it also carries with it an enchanting moral.
how a woman should be strong and puts herself first
she just doesn’t settle for The Prince…
she goes out and makes her dreams come true
when i was a young girl
i dreamed about that too
meet the handsome prince, falling in love, married, and life happily ever after
just like another fairytale with happy ending
get older and it’s been gone
another dreams come over me
and i don’t dream too much about any happy ending stories again
when you think you have the happiest moment in life
you’ll better prepare yourself for the worst things may happen
life is about facing problems
and how you treat all those problems
be wise
be patient
be faithfull that God knows the best
and you’ll get the happy end
somehow i think there are some similarities between me and Paige
a medical college student
serious & hardworking (???)
try hard to make my dreams come true(????)
pretty (?????)
the worst part is…
their kiss just before the end credits
is been sencored
soulmate?
soulmate - natasha bedingfield
Incompatible, it don’t matter though
‘cos someone’s bound to hear my cry
Speak out if you do
You’re not easy to find
Is it possible Mr. Loveable
Is already in my life?
Right in front of me
Or maybe you’re in disguise
Who doesn’t long for someone to hold
Who knows how to love you without being told
Somebody tell me why I’m on my own
If there’s a soulmate for everyone
Here we are again, circles never end
How do I find the perfect fit
There’s enough for everyone
But I’m still waiting in line
Who doesn’t long for someone to hold
Who knows how to love you without being told
Somebody tell me why I’m on my own
If there’s a soulmate for everyone
If there’s a soulmate for everyone
Most relationships seem so transitory
They’re all good but not the permanent one
Who doesn’t long for someone to hold
Who knows how to love you without being told
Somebody tell me why I’m on my own
If there’s a soulmate for everyone
Who doesn’t long for someone to hold
Who knows how to love you without being told
Somebody tell me why I’m on my own
If there’s a soulmate for everyone
If there’s a soulmate for everyone
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soulmate - dre
Like the wind you blow threw me
Every time I see you smile
your caress refreshes me
Like a morning dew
I’d never knew that you’d be
All the things that I need
Didn’t know that you’d show me
your emotion, so complete
Tell you all the nights I prayed for this day
Curious about the way you’d feel
Now that your here I’m asking myself
How could you be real
Today is here and yesterday is gone
Don’t you ever leave me alone
Is it destiny, or is it fate
or have I found my soul mate
Is this only the beginning
Tell me is there more to come
Let it be true that you are the, one I’ve waited for
You’ve shown me hoe to see
endless possibilities
Loving the here and now
Still I can’t hardly wait
Can’t tell you all the nights
I’ve prayed for this day
Curious about the ay you’d feel
Now that your here I’m asking myself
How could you be real
Today is here and yesterday is gone
Don’t you ever leave me alone
Is it destiny or is it fate
or have I found my soul mate
My heart, Lead me, To you
It’s true and now we have to choose
What to do with this blessing
Sent from up above
I’m so thankful for your love
Can’t tell you all the nights
I’ve prayed for this day
Curious about the ay you’d feel
Now that your here I’m asking myself
How could you be real?
Today is here and yesterday is gone
Don’t you ever leave me alone
Is it destiny or is it fate
or have I found my soul mate
sssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssss
soulmate - no use for a name
Monday morning you woke up crying
The outcome of a stupid line, oh-oh
Said by some asshole on the street
It wasn’t me, it wasn’t you
It wasn’t anybody you knew, is it
Your old friend insecurity?
The one companion that stuck by your side since you were born
Tuesday night you were in a fight
The same old argument, black and white
It’s something that’s eating your inside
It’s not the food, it’s not the booze
It isn’t anything consumed, so is it
Becoming a problem you can’t hide
So every time yo uthought that you were wrong you were right
The devil on your shoulder gives you strength in paranoia
The countless times you call a few
Your best friend till the end of time
They’ll always be there by your side
Solidify conditions you’ve abused
What that means, you’ll never have a clue
More than just a life-long friend
No social life, I guess we can pretend
It’s not like I care, but anyway
You always wanna leave, you never wanna stay
‘Cause you think if you drink too much then you will lose it
You’ll drink your security away
The one companion that stuck by your side since you were born
The little voice inside your head, annoying and confusing
That somehow tells you what to do
Socially you’ve lost your mind and basically you’re out of time
You try to build so much, it breaks on you
What that means, you’ll never have a clue
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soulmate - wikipedia
Soulmate (or soul mate) is a term sometimes used to designate someone with whom one has a feeling of deep and natural affinity, friendship, love, intimacy, sexuality, spirituality and/or compatibility. A related concept is that of the twin flame or twin soul – which is thought to be the ultimate soulmate, the one and only other half of one’s soul, for which all souls are driven to find and join. However, not everyone who uses these terms intends them to carry such mystical conotations.
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sebenarnya td iseng aja pgn search lirik soulmate-nya natasha bedingfield
pas baca liriknya jd pgn nulis
soalnya soulmate mnurut gw suatu hal yg susah dipahami
msh tetap sebuah tanda tanya
ada yg percaya soulmate
tp bnyk jg yg gak
what is soulmate?
the one companion that stuck by your side since you were born?
how do we find the perfect fit?
how do we know he/she is our soulmate?
do the one we merried is our soulmate?
is there a soulmate for everyone?
is there only one soulmate for everyone?
that soulmate thing…
a never ending mystery about woman and man relationship
do i believe in soulmate?
gw org yg bermimpi dan berharap
gw percaya dgn bermimpi dan berharap paling gak gw udh pny dasar yg cukup kuat utk mewujudkannya menjadi kenyataan
gw percaya orang yang bermimpi dan berharap dengan segenap hati adalah orang yang bahagia
berbeda dengan orang lain yg melogikakan semuanya
dengan melogikakan semuanya,
tidak perlu ada yang namanya harapan
semuanya akan terlihat more
simple…. but less magical
i do…
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